Air Date: March 7, 2003
Written by Carleton Eastlake
Directed by Karl Zwicky
Transcript by Xenajules2
Edited and put on-line by Bluey
Episode 4.20 - We're So Screwed: Part 2: Hot to Katratzi
Previously, on Farscape (voice of Chiana):
Scene One: A large vessel flies towards a purple nebula.
Scene Two: from "A Constellation of Doubt", John stands holding a glass. John: "Katratzi. It's the name of a place. The place where they took Aeryn."
Scene Three: from "Prayer", Captain Jenek holds his heat probe on Aeryn's head as his nurse watches. Jenek: "I gave you a chance. Where is Crichton?"
Scene Four: from "Prayer", Sikozu/Stark holds her/his mask away from her/his face so that the glow from it shines out. Sikozu/Stark: "Katratzee." John: "That's the name of the base. Where is it?" Sikozu/Stark: "Disguises its presence by mirroring the orbit of one of the moons of Trelax." Scorpius: "I know that planet."
Scene Five: from "Prayer", Aeryn jerks as Jenek puts his hand near her head.
Scene Six: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", Jenek:
"The female is pregnant. Her fetus must be saved. Is there a suitable recipient for transplant?" Two Charrids drag Chiana into the med bay. Chiana screams.
Scene Seven: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", Chiana is immobilized inside metal restraints on a table. Metal ribs come out of the side of the table where Aeryn is restrained. The pointed ends of the ribs enter Aeryn's sides and she screams!
Scene Eight: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", John carrys Aeryn back aboard Moya. They are followed by D'Argo carrying Chiana.
Scene Nine: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", Sikozu: "What about Scorpius?"
Chiana: "What about him?" Sikozu turns to look at Chiana: "Well, he might have been captured." Chiana: "Or killed."
Scene Ten: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", Captain Jenek turns Scorpius and slams him face down onto a table in the station commons.
Scene Eleven: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", a "black and white" John stands at the end of an antique coffin. John: "Harvey... you're not dead." Harvey sits up in the coffin, tapping his long fingernails together. Harvey: "I am the 'undead'." John: "That's not funny." Harvey: "Scorpius knows everything you know. Memries, thoughts, dreams... wormhole technology."
Scene Twelve: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", John shakes his head to negate the dream. John: "No. No!" Aeryn reaches for him with her hand.
Scene Thirteen: from "We're So Screwed, Part One: Fetal Attraction", the "undead" Harvey sits in the coffin, tapping his nails. Harvey: "You must... go back there." John looks away as Aeryn rubs his chin.
And now, on Farscape...
PROLOGUE
Several pointed pieces of metal rotate...
War Minister Ahkna: "Where does it hurt, Scorpius? Here? Or here?"
Scorpius is inside some sort of metal cage with pointed metal pieces sticking out from all directions, pointed at him. War Minister Ahkna hits him in the face with her heat probe.
Scorpius groans. She removes the probe and he pants loudly.
Ahkna: "Tell me what you know about wormholes, hmm? Even the smallest secret and I'll leave you in peace for an arn."
Scorpius: "I've been searching my whole life for a female like you." He trills his tongue at her.
Ahkna hits him full in the face with her heat probe. Scorpius throws back his head and screams.
D'Argo's ship, Lo'Lah, flies through space. The crew is inside.
Rygel: "This is madness."
John: "Could be genius, Sparky. You know there's a very fine line between the two."
John is working on something on the console in front of him.
Rygel: "Geniuses make plans."
Aeryn: "We're going to walk into the most heavily guarded base in the Scarran empire, start a civil war and walk out with Scorpius. What part of that do you not understand?"
Sikouz and John grin.
Rygel: "How you two can possibly believe it'll work."
D'Argo: "We've been spotted."
Lo'Lah flies past a Scarran freighter and a Peacekeeper Command Carrier, towards what looks like a broken planet.
Scarran transmission: "Konach! Konach ket!"
Sikozu answers the Scarran: "Nachka vey taf verra yay-reta jon kreitanne isle-ka derdsta bek."
Chiana: "What did you just say?"
Sikozu: "Don't you ever listen to the plans? I told them that we were escorting John Crichton and he wants to join the negotiations."
Chiana: "Oh, great! Now they're guaranteed to blow us to hezmana."
Aeryn whispers: "Keep it down!"
Scarran transmission: "In noch hetza tyeum."
Sikozu: "They've just given us clearance to dock."
John: "That's it... I need it now."
"1812" scoots over to him and he takes something from it.
Rygel: "It's not too late to change our minds."
John, quietly: "Thank you."
D'Argo: "That's true, but we just passed the Jenek freighter which means that Scorpius is probably nearby."
Chiana peers over John's shoulder to see what he is working on.
Chiana: "That's it?"
John: "That's it. Mankind's greatest contribution to the absurd. The thermonuclear bomb."
He holds a small device with a rounded end and several blinking lights. He twirls the tool he was working with as he sets it down and Chiana moves her arms up and down through the air.
END OF PROLOGUE
ACT ONE
Lo'Lah flies towards the Scarran base, escorted by several smaller ships. Inside...
Commandant Grayza stands at a table addressing a high-class Scarran male who is dressed in red. Captain Braca is seated at the table as is War Minister Ahkna.
Commandant Grayza: "Emperor Staleek... despite what your Minister of War might believe, this offer of peace is genuine."
There are other Scarrans also seated around the table as well as some Charrids and two Kalish. A Scarran soldier enters and whispers to the Emperor.
Grayza: "Every day you fail to take it seriously we build more and more wormhole weapons. Soon the urge to use one will become irresistible."
Emperor Staleek: "Not to interrupt your bluster... "
A door opens behind the table and John walks in with Aeryn following him.
Staleek: "... but we have a guest who should make these talks even more amusing."
Grayza: "John Crichton."
John: "And partner. What did we miss?"
Staleek: "You've taken a great risk coming here. Why shouldn't I just have you seized, right now?"
John takes a step forward and pulls back his coat, revealing the bomb which is strapped to his side.
John: "Well, maybe this."
War Minister Ahkna: "What's that?"
John: "Plutonium core. Tritium shell. Does that translate?"
Staleek: "A fission bomb."
Several of the Scarran guards move. One of them growls and points a gun at John.
Staleek: "Put those down!"
John: "Nice threads. You must be the Emperor."
Staleek growls quietly.
John takes a couple more steps towards the table: "Now, before anybody decides to get clever, you should know I have multiple deadman sensors from every culture on my ship and a few cultures I haven't heard of."
Commandant Grayza sits down and folds her hands in front of her on the table.
John: "My heart stops... we all go boom. My heart speeds up, it's boom again. Too hot, too cold, too happy, too sad, thirsty, hungry bored... it's John Lee Hooker time. Boom, boom, boom." He looks at War Minister Ahkna: "And you try your little psychic trick... kaboom. And we're all pushin up day-glo daisies."
War Minister Ahkna: "Why do I doubt that?"
John: "Because you lack imagination?"
Staleek: "What do you want?"
John: "What do
I... want? What do I want?
I... have not been chasing my ass all over the galaxie trying to pull out chunks of my brain.
I... have not been sneaking fembots... and skreeths into the places where I live.
You want something! You. You want... what's inside my head. You want... what I know about wormholes. Because I... " He climbs up onto the table. "... can leap tall galaxies in a single bound. I can scorch planets with a wave of my hand... and you... and you... and you... You can't do jack."
Grayza: "That's... not... true."
John: "Oh, really?" He crouches down, looking at Grayza: "You command the stars to do your bidding? I know you can't. And you can't. And you can't. And you won't. But I have."
Aeryn looks on and smiles.
Staleek: "Then why are you here?"
John stands back up on the table: "Because I... am an American. And what does an American want? Democracy? Capitalism! I want to sell out and settle down. For one day only, it's a blue light special on aisle three. My wormhole technology... and... a free set of steak knives for all the tea in China and anything you can imagine to pay
me."
Ahkna: "Pay?"
John: "Yes! Pay... cash."
Kalish: "He's crazy."
Aeryn: "Isn't it fun?"
John climbs over the front of the table, knocking things off with his boots as he sits on the edge.
John claps his hands and rubs them together: "Welcome... to my cold war. Now... what am I offered for all the powers of the Universe."
War Minister Ahkna and Captain Jenek are with the Emperor.
Ahkna: "I think Crichton's bluffing. The bomb isn't real and he has nothing to give us. He's come for Scorpius."
Jenek: "We know they're working together. At the border station the two of them..."
Staleek interrupts: "Get me a full analysis of Crichton's weapon and how to disarm it."
Jenek grunts and nods. He leaves quickly.
Staleek: "Why would Crichton risk so much just to rescue an ally?"
Ahkna: "He may be in league with Commandant Grayza... to prevent Scorpius from giving us wormhole technology."
Staleek: "Ridiculous."
Ahkna: "It was Crichton's females who rescued Grayza."
Staleek: "From your clumsy attempt to abduct her. Another one of your failures... Minister Ahkna."
She growls and leaves.
Rygel holds a piece of food in his hand: "Lovely of them to invite us in."
Sikozu sits ramrod straight at a table: "They did not have much choice, did they?"
D'Argo walks past: "Well, I think we've located all of the surveillance devices."
Aeryn: "Pilot's enhanced the encryption so comms should be secure."
John: "Anyone have any problems, phone home. Fat man and I will throw our weight around." Aeryn: "You all know the plan."
Noranti: "Ooh!" Chiana jumps over her, onto the table.
Noranti: "Uh... no. Refresh me."
Chiana whispers: "Wrinkles."
Noranti: "Yes?"
John points at Rygel: "Charrids."
Rygel: "Mmm."
He points at Sikozu: "Kalish." She closes her eyes and nods.
John points with both hands at Noranti: "Recon."
Noranti lights up in a smile and points back at John with both her hands: "Peacekeepers!"
A small ship flies to the Peacekeeper Command Carrier.
Aeryn follows John into Commandant Grayza's office.
Aeryn: "A peace conference with the Emperor. Very brave of you to enter Scarran space."
Captain Braca: "Could say the same for you." He follows Aeryn into the office.
Grayza: "John Crichton... do not destroy the Sebacean people."
John: "You don't need me for that. You're doing a great job on your own."
Grayza: "Everything that I have done has been calculated to gain peace."
John: "So you betrayed the Luxans? Maybe you should check your math."
Grayza: "Give us wormhole weapons and everyone will be safe."
John turns to Aeryn: "Didn't she say she already had that?"
Aeryn: "Mmm."
Grayza: "We are very, very close. You know that we have sent Prowlers into wormholes. If I can buy peace even for an arn or two... perhaps we can develop them."
John sits at a table with Aeryn standing behind him. He picks up some small cups and looks at them while Grayza is speaking. He turns them upside down in front of him.
John: "And what will you do? Kill billions of your rivals?" He picks up a token that is on the table. "Hey... maybe kill us." He sets the token on the table in front of the three overturned cups.
Grayza: "Then name your price, Crichton. Anything that you can imagine."
John: "Aye... there's the rub." He picks up one of the cups and sets it over the token. "You see... I can't figure a way out of this situation..." He rotates the cups, as in a shill game. "... but... the first side that does... wins." He slides the three cups in a row, towards Grayza.
A loudspeaker broadcasts in a hanger bay. Some Scarrans are walking near Lo'Lah.
Scarran Soldier: "I'm to allow them onto their ship?"
Captain Jenek: "If they wish. Crichton and his crew have negotiated full access to all common areas and we will acquiesce... for the time being."
Scarran Soldier: "Ahh."
Chiana comes into the bay, from behind some pillars. She walks over to Jenek.
Chiana: "Hey!"
Jenek hisses slightly.
Chiana: "Let me ask you somethin. You short-faced Scarrans... you all look alike, you know? But, uh, were you... were you, uh, down, down on the border station?"
Jenek: "Yes."
Chiana: "Then you were the one that, uh... that ordered Aeryn and me to be cut open."
Jenek nods and Chiana laughs.
Chiana: "Yeah. I got another one for yah. Do Scarrans have mivonks?"
Jenek frowns slightly. Chiana knees him as hard as she can. Jenek inhales sharply, but stands there and watches as she collapses backwards onto the floor, groaning and clutching her knee.
Jenek: "Yes... but they're not external."
The Scarran soldier turns away, laughing.
A Charrid Officer is with another Charrid. They are both smoking from a giant hookah.
Officer: "... because the Kalish had no idea 'cause he's a frelling hapooda!"
The other Charrid joins him in saying: "pooda!" They both laugh.
D'Argo walks into the room and sniffs: "Uh... don't you Charrids ever bathe?"
A couple of armed Charrid guards turn and point their weapons at him. The second Charrid takes the tube out of his mouth and exhales smoke at D'Argo.
D'Argo: "Listen, uh... the Scarrans have nothing decent to drink and I won't drink with the Kalish. Got any Raslak?"
Charried Officer: "Sit down."
D'Argo: "Thank you." He watches the Charrid guards put up their weapons as he walks down some steps, into the room. He goes to the table where the two Charrids are standing. There is a third Charrid, in armor and apparently unconscious, sitting at the table. D'Argo pushes him off the seat.
A long-haired Kalish walks beside an armored Charrid into a room with many consoles. There are several Kalish in the room, some coming down a flight of stairs in the center. The loudspeaker broadcasts in Scarran.
Sikozu stands hidden behind a wall. An older Kalish walks past, followed by a younger man and Sikozu steps out into the walkway.
Sikozu: "Secretary Vakali?"
Both the Kalish turn to see who has addressed him.
Secretary Vakali: "What are you doing here? This is a restricted area."
Sikozu: "I have urgent information. I believe the Charrids are trying to expel the Kalish from Katratzi by force."
Vakali: "And who are you to possess such erroneous intelligence?"
Sikozu: "Just like you, I am a devoted Kalish."
Vakali: "Without us to administer their empire, the Scarran system of government will collapse." He turns and starts to walk away.
Sikozu grabs his sleeve: "What if they fear you will take it away from them? Please... please, Secretary. We need to talk."
The younger man interrupts: "Sir... you're too prominent to be seen with her. I will speak to her."
Sikozu sighs as the Secretary walks quickly away.
D'Argo groans and coughs. He takes a sip from his cup.
D'Argo: "That is... terrible. Even the Scarrans should treat you better."
The Charrid Officer wipes his lips with the back of his hand: "What do you want, Luxan?"
D'Argo: "Me? I've got what I want."
Charrid Officer: "Oh? You enjoy traveling with a group of thieves and a Hynerian slug?"
He looks up at the other Charrid and they both laugh.
D'Argo: "You would too, if you were being paid what I'm being paid."
Charrid Officer: "Which is what?"
D'Argo: "I think you'd better take that up with my employer." He glances towards the doorway where Rygel is floating.
Second Charrid: "What's this? Dinner?" Both Charrids laugh.
Rygel: "
This is opportunity."
Sikozu follows the young Kalish man as he hurries around the control room.
Kalish: "You will submit identification details before we can process a background analysis."
Sikozu catches up to him: "I will not submit for background appraisal. You can trust me as I am, or I am gone."
Sikozu stares at the young man. As she does, her left eye begins to turn in its socket. The "eye" disappears and a patterned ball, much like a "cat's eye marble" appears in its place.
The young Kalish looks startled.
Sikozu's eye swivels back into place: "Now... what of
your back... ground?"
The Kalish glances around, then looks down. When he looks back up, his left eye also swivels and is replaced by a "cat's eye marble".
Sikozu sighs and leans forward so their foreheads touch.
Sikozu: "How many other bioloids are here?"
Kalish: "I am the one resistance member to infiltrate this posting."
Sikozu: "How much hatred exists here between the Charrids and the Kalish?"
Kalish: "Even more than the outer worlds. There's more at stake. Bigger egos."
Sikozu: "Then I will be straight... with you. We want to ignite that hatred and we want to use it as a cover for our escape. Will you help us?"
John and Aeryn walk down a corridor and start to walk in a door. A beam of light hits John on the chest. He stops walking.
John: "1812... get that Scarran vacuum cleaner outta here."
A Scarran DRD runs a light down John and over the bomb at his waist. 1812 starts towards the other DRD which switches off its light and moves away. 1812 follows it, squeaking.
John: "That's a good boy."
Aeryn follows John into the room: "Do you think she's figured it out yet?"
John: "I don't think so. She still looks pretty damned stressed."
Aeryn: "I'm not surprised. If she doesn't go home with a peace treaty she's going to be in a lot of trouble with High Command."
John: "I reckon."
Aeryn: "As long as your stress levels are all right."
John: "Ah, well... considering the fact that we're now nuclear terrorists." He walks over and stands behind Aeryn. "Bomb seems to think I'm okay." The bomb at his waist beeps quietly. John smells the back of Aeryn's hair.
Aeryn: "Provided that thing's working." She half turns, to look at him, then looks down at the bomb. John looks at it too. It is now beeping faster and a little louder.
John: "It's working."
They both laugh quietly.
John: "Uh oh. You are dangerous."
Aeryn: "Well, you better keep away them." She gives him a little shove.
Emperor Staleek walks down a corridor, followed by War Minister Ahkna. Captain Jenek steps up to them.
Jenek: "Sire... We have a good scan of Crichton's fission device but decoding it could take some time."
Staleek: "Not if you expect to prosper."
He strides past Jenek.
Emperor Staleek opens the door to the room where John and Aeryn are and comes in. Ahkna is right behind him.
John: "You came back. Couldn't figure a way to disarm my bomb, huh?" John sits down on the edge of the table that he was standing on.
Staleek: "Not yet." He walks over to the table and picks up a bowl, holding it out to John.
Staleek: "Refreshment?"
John takes a red spike out of the bowl and bites into it. He spits it out, onto the floor.
Staleek: "Crystherium Utilia. An acquired taste."
John: "Streletzia... hummingbird feeder."
He picks some more of the spike from his tongue and tosses it away.
Ahkna: "You know of our delicacy?"
John: "Bird of Paradise? Yah, Mom's garden. Dime a dozen. Did you come all this way to discuss botany?"
Aeryn: "Or to make an offer?"
Ahkna: "Have you got anything to offer or is all this just an elaborate bluff?"
John: "You don't believe.. that I can control wormholes?"
Staleek: "Would you believe without proof?"
John: "Fine. We'll meet you halfway."
He moves his hand off the table and Aeryn slides a small chip forward, towards the Emperor.
Aeryn: "Navigational data chip. Local star chart. Send a ship to the designated coordinates and let us know when they arrive."
Ahkna: "Why?"
Aeryn: "Proof."
John: "Command performance. We're gonna put on the wormhole show, just... for you."
Neither Staleek nor Ahkna makes a move to pick up the chip. John picks it up and swings his legs around the back of the table, away from them.
John: "Not interested, huh? I'm sure Grayza will be."
Staleek holds out his hand: "Wait."
John reaches back and lays the chip in his hand.
Staleek and Ahkna walk out.
John and Aeryn look at each other. She smiles.
Emperor Staleek: "Dispatch a stryker with full instrumentation to these coordinates."
He hands the chip to Captain Jenek.
Staleek: "Have you checked Crichton's ship?"
Jenek: "No. It's protected by a force-field. We may be able to override it."
Staleek: "Do so. Check its logs, its star charts. Get all the information you can."
Jenek nods and leaves.
Ahkna: "This is folly. Crichton plainly knows nothing about wormholes."
Staleek: "And Scorpius does?"
Ahkna: "We'll soon find out. He's ready for his final inquisitor."
Staleek growls.
Scorpius leans forward in the torture device, spit running from his lower lip.
Ahkna: "You're very resiliant, Scorpius."
Scorpius laughs through the spit: "It must be my Scarran genes."
Ahkna laughs.
Scorpius: "We could trade places and find out."
Ahkna: "How would you like to punish me?"
Scorpius: "If you want the pleasure of knowing, release me for an arn."
Ahkna: "Oh, I wish we had more time. But what I need to know now is what you do know about wormholes."
Scorpius: "Well, torture me and I will amuse myself with dreams of you." He trills his tongue at her. "Kill me and my knowledge dies with me."
Ahkna: "Are you sure? Even if an old friend helped you to the other side?"
Scorpius coughs.
Ahkna steps aside so that Scorpius can see who has come into the room behind her.
Scorpius: "Stark?!"
Stark: "There's no way to escape, Scorpius. Not even into death." He steps up onto the platform beside the torture device. "Because... as you're making your agonizing passage..." Stark lifts his mask and the brilliant golden light falls on Scorpius' face. Scorpius begins to scream a strangled scream.
Stark: "... to the other side. I am going to capture your soul and with it... everything you know."
The light seems to shine brighter and brighter as Scorpius screams silently.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
Scorpius' mouth is open wide and his eyes are closed as he silently screams. The brilliant light from Stark's face shines directly on him. The light goes out and Scorpius exhales loudly, spit flying out of his mouth.
Stark walks around the device, in front of Scorpius. Ahkna watches Stark.
Stark: "Oh, I've waited many cycles for this, Scorpius. Dreamed so many sleepless dreams. Every dashed hope, every plunge into terrified despair that I suffered at your hands in the Aurora Chair."
There is a flash...
Scenes of Stark screaming in the Aurora Chair flash by. Stark screams.
Stark: "But rather than the two cycles that fate gave you to screw with my soul, she's only given me two arns to be finished with you."
A Scarran soldier comes in and goes quietly over to Ahkna.
Stark: "So, I guess I better be a little more imaginative." He lifts the edge of his mask so the light shines on Scorpius' face again. Scorpius begins to scream a choked scream.
Ahkna turns from the Scarran soldier: "I think this may have possibilities."
Scorpius continues to scream, his head jerking and spit flying from his mouth.
Noranti drags Chiana by the hand.
Noranti: "Listen to this."
Chiana: "What?"
Noranti drags her down a corridor, to a triangular shaped vent. She puts her ear to the vent.
Noranti whispers: "Listen. Can you hear that?"
A faint sound comes out of the vent.
Noranti: "That's Scorpius."
Chiana: "You sure?"
Noranti: "Yes, yes. I'm sure. Completely."
Chiana: "You go tell Crichton. I'll try and find out where they're keepin him, okay?"
Noranti nods and hurries off. Chiana keeps her ear to the vent.
Noranti: "Scorpius can't possibly hold out much longer."
She has joined Aeryn and John in their room.
Aeryn: "If he hasn't broken already."
John comms: "Rygel?"
Rygel floats near the two Charrids.
Rygel: "Oh, the Scarrans will never make you rich. I can make you rich if you come and work for me."
John comms again: "Rygel?"
D'Argo stands against a wall, watching Rygel and the Charrids.
D'Argo whispers in the comms: "Rygel is busy at the moment, John."
John: "Sikozu?"
She is walking through a room full of working Kalish.
Sikozu comms: "Everything is going to plan."
John: "The plan is too slow. Speed things up, please."
D'Argo wanders away from the wall. He whispers: "Yah, well we're going as fast as we can."
Sikozu watches the Kalish through a screen: "I will try, but I'll need
some time, John."
Aeryn: "Why do we never have enough time?"
Charrid Officer: "Why should I go to work for a frelling Hynerian when I'm already a general in the Scarran's service?"
Rygel: "Hah! That'll end very soon... when the Scarrans sever all ties with the Charrids."
Second Charrid: "You're a lying slug! They're going to war with the Peacekeepers!"
Rygel: "But not with you as their allies. Just with the Kalish."
Officer: "Hah! The Kalish are just techs."
D'Argo: "Well, the Scarrans are building a wormhole weapon. They need techs, not soldiers."
Rygel: "And the Kalish know it. That's why they're planning to sabotage the Charrids by embarrassing you in front of the Scarrans."
The Officer jumps up and leans towards Rygel: "They would never be so bold as to do that!"
Rygel: "Hah! They are as stupid as the Kalish say they are. Join me before the Scarrans throw you off this rock."
Secretary Vakali stands by a table in the control room, talking to Captain Jenek. There is a red holographic display above the table.
Vakali: "Crichton's fission device... it's all just spare parts mostly, salvaged from devices I've never seen before."
Jenek: "I don't care if it's made out of your mother's bones, I need to know how to disarm it."
Vakali: "We just need a few solar days."
Jenek: "You don't have them! Either you'll disarm it now or I'll find some species that will." He leans towards Vakali and growls, then he leaves.
Secretary Vakali goes to another part of the table, across from where the younger Kalish man is sitting. He leans across and whispers: "What do you think?"
Young man: "It's just like she said. The Charrids are trying to incite the Scarrans against us and it's starting to work."
Secretary Vakali looks around, nervously. Sikozu watches from the background.
John, Aeryn and Chiana walk quickly down a corridor.
John: "And what about Scorpius?"
Chiana: "Uh... he's somewhere on this level."
Aeryn: "Alright, well, if we can't make it to Lo'Lah, we're going to be looking for alternate escape routes."
Chiana: "To the surface?"
Aeryn: "Mmm."
Chiana: "I'll keep lookin."
Aeryn: "Thank you."
Chiana leaves. The door to the Emperor's chamber opens and John walks in, followed by Aeryn.
Staleek: "You have cost me a Stryker and its crew."
John: "Really? How did I do that?"
Staleek: "At your coordinates, a wormhole opened and swallowed them up!"
John: "Wh... what did you do? Oh, no. Do not tell me you ordered them into the wormhole! She told you to call us when they got there!" John yells.
Staleek yells back: "You should've warned me!"
John: "Don't lay this off on me! You wanted proof... you got it."
Staleek: "Did you cause that wormhole to open?"
John: "No... no more freebies. You wantta do a deal, or you want me to sell it to the Peacekeepers so they can gobble up all of your warships?"
Staleek: "Do not threaten me!"
John and Aeryn back away.
John: "I'm not threatening. I'm just a guy with something to sell. You don't want to buy it, I'm sure someone else will."
They back through the door way and it closes in front of them. Staleek growls softly.
John: "I didn't push him too hard, did I?"
Aeryn: "He'll make an offer."
They walk away from the Emperor's room.
Sikozu and the young Kalish walk together down a hall.
Sikozu: "An entire cavern just to grow the flowers they eat?"
Kalish: "And it's a high security area."
Sikozu: "Why?"
An elevator door opens and a Charrid soldier gets out. The Kalish and Sikozu get in. The young Kalish goes immediately to the controls and starts pushing buttons. The control panel beeps.
Kalish: "We don't know. But only the Charrids are supposed to have the access codes. So, if anyone else enters the cavern, the Scarrans will assume the Charrids left it accessible like... this." He pushes two buttons at once and the the elevator doors close with a clank.
Sikzou: "You stole the codes."
He nods: "Which is what the Charrids will suspect... and they will confront us." He pushes some more buttons and the door open again.
Sikozu comms: "Crichton. We've found a much faster way to incite a riot."
John: "That's great. Let me hear it... later."
A Peacekeeper walks past John and Aeryn.
John: "Nice pants." After he has gone by a few steps, John stops.
John: "Hey, Braca."
Braca stops dead in the corridor.
John: "You look a little lost."
Aeryn: "Does Mommy know you're here?"
John talks quietly to Aeryn: "Does Mommy know he's Scorpius' boy?"
Braca's eyes open wide and he looks over Aeryn and John, saying nothing.
John: "Oh, no. Mommy doesn't know."
Braca walks back up the corridor to face John: "Are you here to rescue him or kill him?"
War Minister Ahkna watches as Stark makes Scorpius scream. The light goes out and Scorpius sputters and spits.
Ahkna: "Stark! Conceal yourself."
Stark backs away.
A Scarran soldier turns towards John and Aeryn as they enter the room. He growls and spreads his arms out to stop them.
John: "We're here to see Scorpius."
Ahkna: "Come in."
John holds his hand out, shielding the bomb from the Scarran as he walks by.
Ahkna: "Just you."
The soldier puts his other arm out to stop Aeryn from entering. John walks towards Scorpius. He looks back at Aeryn. She nods and John continues in. He climbs up onto the platform, by the torture device. Scorpius spits and jerks towards him.
Scorpius: "John."
John: "Grasshopper."
Scorpius pants, his head hanging down. John glances at Aeryn, then back at Scorpius. He walks down, off the platform and over to War Minister Ahkna.
John: "That's a nice hat."
Ahkna holds up her hand and hits John in the face with her heat probe. John cries out and collapses to his knees.
Aeryn cries out: "Ahkna, don't!" She tries to get past the Scarran guard who grabs her and holds her.
Ahkna: "What do you say? Too happy, too sad, too cold, too hot? Let's see, hmm?"
She keeps her heat probe on the struggling John as the bomb's light pulse faster and it beeps louder.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
War Minister Ahkna has John held, transfixed, with her heat probe full on his face. John gasps.
Ahkna: "I know you have a real nuclear device, but I'm sure you can disarm it."
John groans: "I would... but I can't so... I won't."
The Scarran guard holds Aeryn by both her arms, so she can't get to John.
Ahkna: "You're bluffing."
John gasps: "Well, so much for nuclear deterrence..."
The bomb beeps faster and faster.
John: "... get ready to kiss your ass good-bye, Castro."
Ahkna holds the probe on his as he writhes and gasps and the bomb beeps faster and faster.
Finally, Ahkna releases the heat probe and steps back. John falls forward, onto his face.
Ahkna: "You're insane! Release her."
The Scarran guard lets go of Aeryn who pulls her arms free and grunts. She rushes over to help John up off the floor.
Aeryn: "You all right?"
John: "Yah."
Aeryn: "You're mad."
John: "Just played a game of chicken. Did I win?"
Aeryn: "Just... this time."
John groans: "You take the initiative next time."
Aeryn looks around at Ahkna and at Scorpius, collapsed in the torture device.
Aeryn: "I'll take it now. Frell it."
She starts towards Scorpius. John reaches out and stops her.
John: "Not yet. Aeryn..."
Aeryn finally breaks off looking and walks away. John follows her, glancing back at Ahkna as he goes. Scorpius drools spit, leaning forward in the torture device.
Sikozu: "You found Scorpius being tortured and you just left him there?"
John: "It's not time yet. That's why we're here."
He and Aeryn have joined Sikozu outside the elevator. The doors are open and a couple of Charrids get out.
John: "Morning."
The Charrids make no acknowledgement of any of them.
Sikozu hurries onto the elevator. Aeryn and John follow her.
Aeryn: "As long as this helps start the conflict."
Sikozu: "Yes, it will. Might even get yourselves killed."
She finishes pressing some controls and leaves the elevator.
John: "Then we'll all go together." He lifts his hand to wave as the door shuts with Sikozu outside.
Sikozu whispers: "Good luck." She shakes her head.
The elevator starts down a long shaft. Inside...
Aeryn breathes: "Well...?"
John reaches down and touches one of her hands.
John: "Give me your hand... and put it on my shoulder." He picks her other hand up by the wrist and puts it there. He puts a hand on her waist: "Come mere." He pulls her towards him, still holding her other hand. "All right, now stand on my feet."
Aeryn smiles and looks down. She climbs onto the top of his feet. She half laughs, half groans.
John: "Comfortable?"
Aeryn: "Mm mm. You?"
John nods: "Hold tight." He begins to waltz. Aeryn laughs, looking into his face. She puts her head down on his shoulder and they continue to dance.
Rygel smokes from the hookah with the Charrids.
Charrid Officer: "I don't care what you think the Kalish might or might not do. The Scarrans would never dissolve our partnership."
Rygel draws on the pipe, then coughs and laughs.
D'Argo: "What partnership?"
Rygel: "You aren't their partners. You're nothing more than ill-paid, ill-treated and..." He sniffs. "... ill-smelling servants."
One of the Charrids growls and pulls a knife out of a sheath on the table. D'Argo reaches across the table and grabs him.
D'Argo: "I don't think so."
The elevator door opens.
Aeryn lifts her head off John's shoulder and looks around. She gets down off his feet.
John leans his hand on the door jam.
John: "Is this our floor?"
Aeryn: "I don't know. Have to get out and have a look around."
She gets off the elevator. John follows her.
D'Argo holds the Charrid's knife down on the table. An alarm sounds and everyone looks up. The loudspeaker broadcasts and alert.
The Charrid Officer stands up: "Intruder alert in the Crystherium chamber. Quick, check it! Now! Hurry!"
Aeryn and John walk down some steps into a room full of plants. On the far side of the room is a huge flower set up, like a shrine. A light shines down on it from above.
John: "Never knew Scarrans were so sentimental."
Aeryn and John look at each other, then they seperate, walking down into the flowers. John walks over to a flower and picks one.
John: "No one around."
Aeryn: "So... what do you want to do to get noticed?" She walks a little way into the flowers. John follows her.
John: "I got arrested once. College. Let me show ya." He sinks down into the flowers. Aeryn laughs and follows him.
A group of armed Charrids hurry off the elevator.
Charrid Officer: "What are you doing here? Come out, now!"
John whispers: "Damn!"
Officer: "Up. Now!"
John and Aeryn stand up. Aeryn tries to blow her hair out of her face as she struggles to straighten her clothes. John zips his pants.
John, quietly: "There's never enough time."
They both shrug into their jackets.
Emperor Staleek takes some Crystherium Utilia out of a dish and eats them. Ahkna paces behind him.
Staleek: "Who gave you the codes?"
Aeryn: "What codes?"
John: "Codes? We didn't need no stinking codes."
Aeryn turns her head and looks at him.
Ahkna: "You could not have accessed the cavern without the codes."
John: "We didn't try to access anything. Some Charrids got off the elevator, we got on. We got off... well, we tried to get off. We got interrupted."
Ahkna: "Which Charrids?"
Aeryn: "Are you serious? They all look alike."
John: "You should put numbers on their uniforms."
Staleek: "The Charrid troops are your responsibility."
Ahkna: "I'll order a full inquiry." She walks out.
John turns his head and watches her leave. The door closes behind her
Staleek hisses.
John: "You know, while you're at it... give me Scorpius."
Staleek: "You want Scorpius? Why? Is it because he's going to give us what you're trying to sell us?"
John: "No... because the hat lady is pissing me off and I wantta piss her off. Tit for tat. Call it a whim. And, I don't like watching people be tortured who don't know anything."
Stark leans towards Scorpius, holding his chin in his hand.
Stark: "What do you know about wormholes, Scorpius? Tell me."
Scorpius gasps: "I know nothing."
Stark: "You're lying. You tell me!" He lifts his mask, shining the light on Scorpius' face.
Scorpius gasps again: "I said I know nothing... know nothing!"
Ahkna stands beside the platform and watches.
Scorpius gasps while the light shines on him. When the light quits, he sags forward against the bars of the device.
Stark turns to Ahkna. He gets down off the platform and walks towards her: "It's... a normal part of the procedure. He... um... he's strong. Very strong.. That means, when he finally breaks, it'll be all the more catastrophic."
Ahkna: "You promised me..."
Stark: "That I would break him, not that he knows anything, but if he does, you will know."
A door opens and Emperor Staleek strides in.
Staleek: "What is happening in here?!"
Ahkna: "You wanted the information taken from him."
Staleek: "Alive. I said alive."
Scorpius leans against the bars of the torture device, drooling and jerking.
Staleek: "And have you learned anything?"
Ahkna: "No, not yet, but I..."
Staleek interrupts her: "Crichton has destroyed a stryker and found a way into the caverns... but you have achieved nothing. Get out!"
Ahkna: "This is my jurisdiction."
Staleek: "Not unless I say it is. Now, get out. All of you."
Ahkna and Stark leave, followed by the Scarran soldiers.
Scorpius jerks and gasps against the bars.
Emperor Staleek walks over to the platform: "I'll get the truth from him."
Staleek steps up, next to Scorpius. He looks down at him: "I thought you said she couldn't harm you."
Scorpius speaks with a strangled voice: "And she couldn't! I'm fine. Quite fine. I've caused enough harm in my time to mimic it well."
Staleek: "We still haven't found a way of disarming Crichton's weapon... but he has demonstrated a convincing command of wormholes."
Scorpius: "I can seperate him from the bomb. He trusts me... more than he realizes. Just bring him to me!"
Staleek: "Will you? Or will you betray me?" Staleek grabs Scorpius.
Scorpius: "I've served you for ten cycles as a spy. Why would I betray you now?"
Staleek: "Betray me, and you will
die in this machine... but deliver Crichton's knowledge to me ... and all the power you seek will be yours."
Staleek releases Scorpius and walks away. Scorpius leans against the bars and pants, drooling. He turns his eyes, to follow Staleek.
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
A
ship with three engine exhausts flies past the hidden Scarran base. The Scarran freighter and the Peacekeeper Command Carrier are still orbiting nearby.
Commandant Grayza is seated at a desk. Captain Braca stands at attention next to her.
Grayza: "Thank you for returning."
John and Aeryn are standing in front of the desk.
Aeryn: "What is it?"
Grayza: "I would like to make an addition to my offer."
She holds out a plastic sheet and John takes it. There is writing and a seal on it.
John: "I'll have the kung pao chicken. You want a spring roll?" He holds the plaque out for Aeryn to see.
Grayza: "Actually, they're a pardon from the Supreme Council. No Peacekeeper would dare violate them."
John: "Is she for real?"
Aeryn keeps her eyes on the plaque: "It would seem so. However, it is conditional."
Grayza: "Of course... on no wormhole technology being shared with the Scarrans."
John: "What if we give these back?"
Aeryn: "Still valid. She wouldn't dare destroy them."
Braca: "I've witnessed them. So have all our principal officers." Braca picks up a witnessing device from the desk and walks away.
John lays the plaque back down on the desk: "Keep it. We'll let you know."
Two armed and armored Charrid soldiers have Scorpius between them and are dragging him down a corridor. Scorpius gasps and moans.
John and Aeryn come to a door which opens. They enter a large room.
John comms: "Guys... listen up."
Aeryn: "They're bringing him now."
John: "One riot, well done. Hold the mayo... now!"
A Scarran soldier stands facing the Charrid Officer across a desk in the Kalish Command Center. The Kalish Secretary stands nearby. Sikozu watches from behind a pillar.
Scarran: "Your troops compromised the security of the cavern."
Charrid Officer: "No! That is not what happened."
Sikozu comms: "We are very close to a conflict now."
John comms back: "This ain't horeshoes or hand grenades... "now" means now!"
John turns around as the Emperor strides into the room, followed by the Charrids dragging Scorpius.
Staleek: "A bargain is struck..."
Scorpius groans and shots spit out of his mouth as the Charrids toss him onto his back on a table. Aeryn walks over to him and looks down at him.
Staleek: "... however an agreement requires trust which, thus far, has been one-sided. Now, you tell me what else you really want."
John glances at Aeryn, then looks back at Staleek: "When you wake up... in the morning on your big, Emperor bed and you listen... what do you hear?" He starts to walk, circling around to stand beside Aeryn. "Do you hear the little Emperor birdies singing outside your window? Do you hear the Emperor wind whistling through the trees? Or do you hear people dying? Do you hear your friends begging for mercy? Do you hear doors being kicked in because people are hunting you? Do you hear the sound of your heart pounding in your ears? What I want... Santa Claus? For the rest of my life I wanna wake up like an Emperor."
Staleek: Your safety, guaranteed. In just a few arns."
John: "Bill Gates can't guarantee Windows. How you gonna guarantee my safety?"
Staleek: "With great effort... and great sincerity. Though at some point, my largesse will dissipate." He strides off.
John looks at Aeryn.
From his back, on the table, Scorpius gasps out: "My appreciation."
John: "My... ass." He bends down and grabs Scorpius by the chest.
John: "Did you tell them?"
Scorpius: "No."
John: "Wormholes... my brain... Harvey! What did you tell them?" John moves his hand up to Scorpius' throat.
Scorpius: "Nothing!"
John: "Listen up... I am Johnny Radiation because of you, Nosferatu. Everyone I care about west of the Moon is here and in danger to make sure that you keep your mouth shut. Now! Did you keep your mouth shut?"
Scorpius: "Yes." He turns his face away, panting.
Aeryn: "John..."
John looks up at her: "You believe him?"
Aeryn: "Yes, I do."
Scorpius gags.
John: "Good. Kill him and let's go." He lets go of Scorpius and takes a step away. Scorpius' eyes and mouth open as wide as they can.
Aeryn: "What?"
John: "Kill him and let's go."
Aeryn: "We came here to free him."
John: "No. We came here to make sure that my knowledge didn't slip out of his mouth. Kill him, Aeryn and let's go."
Aeryn: "Oh, you want
me to kill him?"
John: "Well, I'm not the assassin, am I?"
Aeryn: "If you want him to die, you can kill him yourself."
John: "You made me promise that I wouldn't."
Aeryn: "Well, I release you from that promise."
John: "Say that again."
Aeryn: "I release you from that promise."
John: "Thank you." He pulls his pulse pistol and points it at Scorpius' face. He holds it there for several microts.
John: "I'll give you my bike if you kill 'im."
Scorpius gasps: "May I speak?"
John: "No."
Aeryn: "No." She waves her hand at him.
John: "He's tellin the truth." He puts his pistol away.
John: "We'll sort you out later."
Scorpius falls back onto the table.
John comms: "Guys! I apologize in advance for any incivility or insensitivity on my part, but it is beer o'clock... where the hell is my riot?"
Scarran soldier: "The logs show your Lieutenant had just returned from the cavern."
Charrid Officer: "Whose logs? His?" He points at the Secretary. "Kalish documentation."
Secretary Vakali walks over to confront the Charrid: "What are you implying, Rahzaro?"
Rygel laughs: "Ohhh, you're going to get it."
Rahzaro: "That our intruder could not decipher the access codes to the cavern by himself. Someone had to have given them to him."
Vakali: "I protest this baseless accusation."
The Scarran soldier grabs Secretary Vakali by the front of his tunic and Rahzaro by his: "Then,,, find out where the fault does lie. I expect a full account from each side in less than two arns." He growls and releases them, walking away between them.
Rahzaro: "Ha!" He walks over to another Charrid: "Tear down the system to the foundation. Find the leak."
The other Charrid grunts and leaves. Rahzaro walks back over to the Secretary.
Rahzaro: "I will not be humiliated by you, Vakali. You will not destroy my relationship with the Emperor."
Vakali: "What the frell are you blathering about, Charrid? Your security forces prove useless and you seek to refocus the blame!"
Rahzaro: "Useless?
My forces, useless?! Ordering biscuits and repairing urinals has never won a war."
Vakali: "And neither have you, if I recall."
Rahzaro grabs Vakali by the throat and lifts him up: "Insult a Charrid at your own risk... Kalish hapooda."
Vakali: "Hapooda? You dare to call me 'hapooda'?"
Rahzaro: "And I bet... not a very good one."
Vakali hits Rahzaro's hand away and falls back onto his feet. Rahzaro stumbles then regains his balance and hits Vakali. Vakali falls against a table. The young Kalish picks up a cylinder. A Kalish man runs up a pillar and starts shooting with a pistol. D'Argo fires his qualta rifle. There is gunfire from both sides. Several Charrids are hit. The young Kalish hits a Charrid in the face with the cylinder he is holding. A Kalish is shot and falls off the pillar he is standing on. Sikozu kicks and hits a Charrid.
The Scarran soldier comes back: "What is this?" He growls: "Stop it. Stop it at once!"
The fighting continues, unabated.
The Scarran comms: "Strike warriors to the control center. Confiscate all weapons."
Rygel comms: "Now, Crichton. Leave now. And never doubt your Dominar again."
D'Argo backs quietly away. The fighting goes on. Secretary Vakali is shot. A Charrid grabs Sikozu from behind. The Kalish bioloid kicks the Charrid. He releases Sikozu and she kicks him through a window.
Sikozu goes puts her hands on the male bioloid's arms: "I must go. Sho-kana-sho."
Kalish: "Sho-kana-sho." A shot hits near her head. She gasps and ducks.
Kalish: "Go!"
Sikozu runs out.
Ahkna hurries up to the Emperor.
Ahkna: "We've been sabotaged. The Charrids and Kalish are fighting."
Staleek comms: "Guards! Secure Crichton and report."
Ahkna: "Scorpius... we must secure Scorpius."
Staleek: "Don't worry about Scorpius. He's not going anywhere."
Aeryn and John hurry through a door way with Scorpius supported between them.
Aeryn comms: "Everyone, go. We're on the move."
John: "Some help would be appreciated."
They struggle through smoke filled corridors. Several Charrid soldiers run past.
Scorpius: "Where do you expect us to run?"
John: "Got a taxi waiting. First rule of piss-poor planning... have your exit ready before your entrance."
Scorpius: "What? This disturbance?"
John: "Yah. Pretty cool, huh?"
Scorpius: "Yes, I'm impressed."
John: "There's just no pleasing some people."
A Charrid soldier steps in front of them, pointing his rifle at them.
Charrid: "Remain where you are, or I'll shoot. Release your weapons, now."
There is a gunshot. The Charrid cries out and falls to the floor. Behind him, Braca stands holding a smoking gun. He smiles, holsters his gun and disappears behind a pillar.
Scorpius: "Braca?"
John: "Yah, feel the love, Mr Burns."
They hurry on.
Chiana runs through a crowd of soldiers, pulling Noranti by the hand.
Chiana: "Frell!"
She runs up to a Scarran soldier.
Chiana: "Hey, can you help us? We're... we're afraid."
Scarran: "You have to turn back. Can't pass here."
Noranti steps up and blows powder in the Scarran's face. He sniffs twice and groans. He twirls around and falls to the floor with a thud.
Noranti: "It works!" She nods at Chiana.
D'Argo has Sikozu by the arm and pulls her through a room filled with fighting. Rygel follows them.
Rygel comms: "We're getting close. Don't leave without us."
D'Argo comes up to a Charrid: "Warrior... can you take this Kalish piece of tralk?"
He pushes Sikozu towards the Charrid. The Charrid looks at Sikozu and D'Argo hits him, knocking him out.
D'Argo and Sikozu look at each other and nod.
D'Argo: "Nice."
Sikozu: "Nice."
Rygel: "Hurry up!"
Sikozu: "We try it a third time?"
D'Argo takes her arm and drags her to another Charrid.
D'Argo: "Warrior."
Charrid: "What?"
D'Argo: "Could you take this Kalish piece of tralk?"
John, Scorpius and Aeryn come down a corridor.
John: "We're almost home. There it is."
Lo'Lah is visible past some pillars.
Scorpius gasps: "D'Argo's vessel, even shrouded cannot outrun a stryker!"
Aeryn: "Moya's disguised as an oil freighter in the shipping yards."
John: "She's rested and ready to starburst."
Two Charrid soldiers carrying rifles walk past Lo'Lah.
John: "Oh, crap. Aeryn..."
Scorpius: "We can broker a bargain."
John takes Scorpius' weight and Aeryn draws her pistol.
John: "Where's yer nerve, Grasshopper? Just stick with me. They ain't gonna pop fat man."
Aeryn gestures for them to be quiet. She peers into the hangar bay.
Scorpius: "I can't."
He slips to the floor, his breath gurgling.
John gets down on his knees beside Scorpius: "You better not pass out."
Scorpius lies perfectly still.
Aeryn gets down and cocks her pistol, pointing it at his head: "Get up... or I kill you now."
END OF ACT FOUR
EPILOGUE
Aeryn holds her gun to Scorpius' head: "Choose."
John: "You need to know when a woman's serious."
Aeryn: "Are you coming?"
John reaches down and grabs Scorpius' tunic. Scorpius gags. He reaches up with his hand and grabs John's. Scorpius struggles to his feet. They go forward, with Scorpius draped over John's shoulders.
Aeryn: "Okay." She shoots at the ceiling above the Charrid soldiers. They turn.
Aeryn: "Drop your weapons!" She shoots over them again and runs into the bay.
Aeryn: "Don't fire or you'll detonate the bomb."
John hurries in with Scorpius. Aeryn holds her gun out and the Charrids put their guns down.
John: "Well, there you go. Someone finally got smart."
Scorpius starts to gag and bends over. John shifts his hold on his arm. Scorpius straightens up and hits Aeryn in the face with the back of his arm, knocking her down. He brings his arm around and hits John in the stomach with his fist. John cries out and doubles over. The Charrids quickly pick up their rifles from the floor. Scorpius takes John down, face first on the floor.
John puts his hands out beside himself, raising up slightly. He breathes in short, panting breaths: "You stupid son-of-a-bitch!"
Scorpius: "I'm sorry, John. You need to breathe deeply if you expect to live."
The bomb is beeping very fast.
John: "You're gonna get us all killed!"
John struggles, but Scorpius pins his hands down.
Scorpius: "Now... if you trust m enough to live you may well discover the truth."
John: "Trust you? Trust you?!"
The bomb begins to sound an alarm and John screams.
TO BE CONTINUED...
